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| Though there are many periods in time when people are too benevolent for their own good, there are also times when people can’t face their own worries or pain. I am one of those that search to find a new light when mine has dimmed. I have few cares in this world, but the biggest force that has been able to move me so far in my sixteen years of life is sadness, not only my sadness, but the sadness of people around me. Strangers, friends, family members, even people I don’t find that agreeable. Their sadness becomes my own, mostly because my own misery is far too great for me to handle, too infinite for me to fill. So the kindness people see is actually my selfishness, my cowardliness. Though my intent is true, helping people overcome the obstacles that keep them from happiness is a way I am able to forget about myself. People cook food, play sports, paint and do other activities to help with their sorrow, but I instead search for problems to fix, people to save. I hope one day I’ll be able to save myself, as cheesy as it sounds.
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| As she set off to find herself she was met with prolonged absences from the girls that knew everything and the boys who knew too little. She never intended for such havoc to explode, but her heart was fragile so she explained to everyone she came across how she had been broken, hoping that these strangers would be kind. Instead she was met with false prophets that promised relief and everlasting love. She fell for their whimsical lies, believing that her happy ending had finally come. She shed her inhibitions and ran away with these young men, truly believing each would cure her sadness and fill the absence in her heart. Then one day she met him, her shining knight. He rescued her from another failed attempt at love. He tended to her wounds and soothed her worries, but she became doubtful of his love. How could such a man exist? A man who loves me so much and doesn't care about my flaws or history. She persistently questioned his love, disbelieving he was real, until one day she pushed too hard and he had no choice but to walk away from their shaky foundation.
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| And with our high moral standards we wash away our pain with our conscientious mind. We try to look further. Past the empty facade, past the broken heart, hoping to reach something bigger. What we don't know is that everyone has been looking for a deeper meaning. The treasure at the end of the yellow brick road. Eventually though everyone becomes fed up of their prayers going unanswered so someone makes up this fictitious character. He who fights the monsters beneath your bed, he who protects your heart and wipes your tears, he who vows never to hurt you, unless it's for your own good. Slowly, but surely we find this humble being is only alive in our heads. There we accept him as an imaginary voice warning us of our deadly sins and dastardly ways. We beg for forgiveness and acceptance because without his understanding we will again fall to our deaths.
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| She feels everything around her is falling. Tumbling down from the sky are the shooting stars she used to wish upon. It seems the fates are returning every prayer or wishful thought she's had. She continues to blindly wish on three leaf clovers, on fallen eyelashes and birthday candles. She wishes for the pain to vanish and wishes for patience because in a world of lost innocence and corrupt government she is a fallen angel that has lost hope. She wakes at night, shivering, reliving the demons she had once confronted. As she walks the streets with her shadow behind her, she remembers how she saw God in a similar sense. Now all she feels is the cool wind where her wings had been.
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| We all shudder as rambles and streams of words hope to burst out from within us. Like little flames that flicker, we are ignited by the greatest hums and the roughest voices. Callused hands reach out and we know they seek to touch daylight. We are the artists with peculiar morals and complex thoughts. We love easily because we were the first to realize how fast a heart can stop and how short a breath can be. We are the broken hearted and it's been that way since we were born. We created a different world that consumed us. No pain, no fear.
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